A year ago, the day after Mother’s Day, I woke up on Monday morning to missed calls and messages. Payton, Milo’s birth mom, had gone into labor almost a month before her due date. For some reason that weekend I had packed Milo’s hospital bags and put everything we needed together for him. We tried to book flights from Denver to Salt Lake City, but a hailstorm the night before damaged a bunch of planes and cancelled all flights that day. So our only choice was to drive. We frantically packed and called me dad who came to pick up the dogs. We packed up the car and began our 8 hour journey to Provo, Utah.
The entire drive there we received updates on how far along she was in labor. I am notorious for always sleeping in long car journeys, but I could not sleep at all. I was so nervous that we would not make it in time. By 3:30, she was fully dilated and told to rest until we arrived. We made it to the hospital by 4pm and I was shaking I was so nervous. We went upstairs and were greeted by Payton’s mother, who hugged me and told me it was all going to be ok. I burst into tears. I could not believe we made it in time and I was also freaking out that I would become a mom in less than an hour.
Milo was born and our lives changed completely. The next couple of weeks were a total blur. The newborn haze is totally real and something in your body makes you forget the sleepless nights and constant feedings. Milo grew so well, despite his reflux and constant puking. At every doctor’s visit he steadily climbed the growth chard in weight and length. His head has pretty much always been in the 90 percentile.
The first three months were a total transition for me. I went from working fulltime to mothering fulltime. Milo napped terribly and most days I did not even have the energy to shower or make myself lunch. Then I started my nanny job and added two more kids to the mix.
It was hard to leave the house because his reflux made the carseat really uncomfortable for him. So we pretty much stayed home. Looking back now I really treasure those months. Even though I felt like a chaotic mess, covered in puke, and constantly holding and feeding a baby, that time I spent nurturing and bonding with our baby boy.
One of the biggest highlights for me as a mom is seeing how Milo has learned to do things on his own. From rolling, to crawling, to standing, to dancing and to picking up food and eating, Milo is constantly learning and developing. He is growing into the sweetest and most caring little boy. His tantrums, although difficult at times, show us that he is passionate, sensitive and so determined. He is social and loves other people, especially his aunts and uncles.
Another highlight has been our relationship with Milo’s birth family. It has been such a joy sharing updates with his birth mom daily. She truly delights in everything Milo does and knowing how much she loves him gives me so much strength. I know that Milo will grow up with so much love from her and I treasure the bond they have with each other.
Waiting for Milo felt like forever, and now he is here and the time is just flying by. I cannot believe he is turning one today. Watching him play, explore, laugh and grow fills my heart with so much joy. Looking back at pictures of him as a newborn, I am filled with confidence that God gave us everything we needed to parent, nurture, and care for Milo. He sustained us then and will continue to sustain us year by year.
I am so humbled that we were chosen for this sweet boy. I am so honored that I get to be his mother and can already see what kind of a man he will become one day.
Milo Payton, on your first birthday, I want you to know just how incredibly loved you are by us, your family and our tribe of friends. You are the son we longed for, prayed for, and relentlessly pursued. You bring us so much joy. Happy Birthday to you. We love you.